NEW F5!!! TOP 5 HORROR MOVIE ASSHOLES!!!

OK, I am a self-proclaimed asshole (also universally proclaimed, not to brag), but this weeks F5 is dedicated to those unstoppable, killing machine, jackass uber-assholes who wanna fuck up people's nights. They are on another level of assholiness. Me, I'm just sarcastic or logical. Them, they just do the most fucked up and evil shit to random people who they just stumble upon (except in one case below). Movie after movie, they continue to prove their assholes, and each time, their assholoscence is raised.  Anyway, end rant, I bring to you the Top 5 Horror Movie Assholes or the "motherfucker, can you being a fucking asshole?!"

5. Jason Voorhees (from Friday the 13th series)

New F5!!! The Top 5 Serial Killers!!!

Since Halloween is next week, I figure I'd use this week's F5 to help remind you that humans, can be more terrifying than monsters. This week's F5 is the Top 5 Serial Killers or the "Damn dude, you're fucking crazy". I have something planned for the next F5, so for this week I'm gonna have to restrict the candidates to regular, crazy guys (ie. no slasher killers who cannot be killed) who have a blood lust.  Check it out and remember this, your next door neighbor, child's teacher, or co-worker could be a bat-shit crazy type of person, who goes around blugeoning people to death with a dildo (that'll make a scary movie I think).

5. Norman Bates (from "Psycho" series)

The dude is a psycho... literally, I mean, the movie is called PSYCHO! They didn't have to come up with a clever title to say the antagonist of the movie is coo-coo in the membrane. Nope. They titled it PSYCHO. Back in the early days of cinema, he struck fear in the hearts of those who wanted to take a relaxing shower or check into a seedy motel after renting out a prostitute for a hour. And I say he is a perfect example that single mothers need to pass some kind of psychological test to be able to raise a fatherless son... because in this case, he may end up killing you and wearing your skinny jeans/leggings...

Throwback Thursday!!!

First of, sorry for the lack of posts this week, been having a brainfart creatively. Or maybe it has something to do with the video below?



That Silent Bob is a cool dude and. in hindsight, he should've been in the F5 Top 5 Potheads instead of Kumar... anyway, Bug Out!

F5!!! The Top 5 Damsels in Distress!!!

In fiction, there are heroes and there are villains... and there are also female characters known as damsels in distress. So, this week's F5 is dedicated to those who help advance the plot and action. I bring you "the Top 5 Damsels in Distress" or the "Damn bitch, can't you stay outta trouble?!"

5. Princess Peach (from Super Mario Bros. game series)

The worlds most famous video game princess who you always have to end up saving (sorry Princess Zelda, no one cares about you), and I've been trying to save her since the 80s to no success. Seriously, I've never beaten a game of Mario... Anyway, because of her, plumber-extraordinare Mario Mario (and his brother, Luigi Mario) go out the way to save her, in the hopes of laying the pipe. And thank you sex could be the least she could do since the two guidos battles against ghosts, turtles, bullets, and other weird characters. So, go save the Princess... might be able to take a royal bite outta that peach, if you know what I mean (take a bite out her ass just in case if you don't know what I mean).

New Fump-Dibbidy Fictional Five Friday Feature!

First off, Happy Friday! Here goes another F5 for ya. This time it's the The Top 5 Worst Places to Visit or the "Maybe we should keep on driving..."

5. South Park, Colorado (from South Park)

New Fump-Dibbidy Fictional Five Friday Feature!

Yoddle yoddle folks! I've got a new F5 for you this week ("say whaa? two F5s in two weeks?")! Since its week 4 of the greatest sport ever (until badmintion becomes a full fledged sport on ESPN), I figured this weeks theme will be about sports.

So, I bring to you "The Top 5 Fictional Teams" or the "Teams That I'll Ride the Bench For"!

5. The Little Giants (The Little Giants)

A pee-wee team filled with misfits is always a great team to be apart of. They got to meet NFL greats such as Emmett Smith and Bruce Smith, and the tough acting, Tinactin guy (who later ends up being the most famous name in football game history). And who didn't love the "Annexation of Puerto Rico"? Though I enjoyed watching them practice and play, I hated that the fact that the rival team was the Cowboys... I mean, wtfuckers? Anyway, I wonder if "Icechest" ever got any fun bags to play with...

Fump-Dibbidy Fictional Five Friday Feature!!!

This weeks F5 is... The Top Five Fictional Potheads I Wanna Smoke With! Or the "Damn man, you gonna pass that shit?"

5. Kumar Patel (from Harold and Kumar movie series)

From riding on cheetahs, to meeting cyclops, to meeting Neil Patrick Harris, you cannot deny that this guy
goes on some crazy adventures. He loves weed and even has that "weed sense" that master smokers acquire. He is at the 5 spot mainly because, I do NOT EVER want to be in a position to recieve a "cockmeat sandwich"...

Fump-Dibbidy Fictional Five Friday Feature!!!

Every Friday (or perhaps every other Friday), I'll post a top 5 list comprised of various topics based off fictional works of art. This feature will be called the Fump-Dibbidy Fictional Five Friday Feature (or F5 for short). And with the premiere F5, I thought I'll do it on what's "hot" these days in entertainment... VAMPIRES!

So, this weeks installment will be the Top 5 Sexiest Vampires... enjoy!

5. Jessica (from True Blood)











Sweet, innocent-ish, and sexy, Jessica takes the 5th spot in the list. Mostly due to the fact that her hymen