Yoddle yoddle folks! I've got a new F5 for you this week ("say whaa? two F5s in two weeks?")! Since its week 4 of the greatest sport ever (until badmintion becomes a full fledged sport on ESPN), I figured this weeks theme will be about sports.
So, I bring to you "The Top 5 Fictional Teams" or the "Teams That I'll Ride the Bench For"!
5. The Little Giants (The Little Giants)
A pee-wee team filled with misfits is always a great team to be apart of. They got to meet NFL greats such as Emmett Smith and Bruce Smith, and the tough acting, Tinactin guy (who later ends up being the most famous name in football game history). And who didn't love the "Annexation of Puerto Rico"? Though I enjoyed watching them practice and play, I hated that the fact that the rival team was the Cowboys... I mean, wtfuckers? Anyway, I wonder if "Icechest" ever got any fun bags to play with...
4. The Milwaukee Beers (BASEketball)
Not only are they a fictional team, but they're playing a fictional sport! Now, I may be unathletic and physically clumsly, but I think I would do well in baseketball. And under the tutelage of Coop and Remer (who also created the "sport") I'm sure I will be a "psyche out" champ! Now, only if we can get Squeak to stop acting like a little bitch, and everythings cool.
3. The Miami Sharks (Any Given Sunday)
Even though this may be the most self-destructive team on today's F5 (due to Willie Beaman's self-love and his contempt to piss any and everyone off), the team still has tons of fun. From crazy parties in mansions to crazy end-zone celebrations, you won't be bored with the Sharks. You may, however, get punched in the face while showering by an egomaniac of a running back and have your truck sawed in half by a gold-tooth linebacker... but that's football baby! Side Note: You probably won't win any Championships.
2. West Canaan Wolves (Varsity Blues)
I've always loved football but was never allowed to join due to mom dukes forbidding it. But after seeing this in high school, I knew I wanted to try out for HS football (and 2 years later I did join the team and we won a State Championship.... take that Shawn Merriman of the San Diego Chargers!). This team here, is the greatest football team ever! Throwing wild parties, stealing cops cars, playing a game with a severe hangover, going to the strip club and seeing your teacher strip... ah man, great times... plus they won a fucking championship game without a coach?! What team ever do that? Plus, the team has the most quoted QB of all time in the form of Moxon... "I don't want...your life!"
1. Team USA (Might Ducks: D2)
Team USA are world fucking champs! How can't they be number 1? From pee-wee hockey in Minneapolis to the Olympics! After seeing this, I instantly wanted to learn how to roller-blade which led to me wanting to learn how to ice-skate (but unfortunately, didn't lead me to wanting me to play hockey). The team featured such great teen hockey players such as the captain, Charlie Conway, Russ, the "inner-city" kid, some country-bumpkin rodeo teen, and the motor-mouth, Averman. With such plays as the "Flying V" and the "Knucklepuck", you can't tell me this team isn't the greatest fictional team ever! Now give me a part 4 where they're all in the NHL, having affairs with escorts, addicted to heroin, and beating up paparazzi and you got my ass in the theater... so, all together now... "QUACK! QUACK! QUACK!"
That concludes this week's F5. Please, share it with those you know! Bug Out!