Here goes the 1st Melancholy Holidays article!
So, today is Columbus Day (or what everyone should call it "He Rapin Everybody" Day). Yippee doo. The guy who discovered a land that's already filled with inhabitants (the "Native" Americans for those who don't know who I'm referring to...) gets a holiday. With those standards, can I get a holiday for being the first person to take a shit?
And if we do ignore the fact there were already people living on this "new world", then praising Columbus is still very moronic because LEIF ERICKSON discovered it way Columbus did. So please, if you have kids or will have kids or will end up kidnapping kids, teach them the truth about this disease spreading, barbaric, douchebag rapist.
If anyone says the name "Columbus" to you or in passing, I say you should just immediately say "douche". I know I will. So, Melancholy Columbus Day... Bug Out...